


Words Too Small For Any Hope or Promise

by Tdtori



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Columbus Blue Jackets, M/M, Mutual Pining, Partial future fic, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 04:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tdtori/pseuds/Tdtori
Summary: When Ville got up to the podium and said, “From the University of Michigan” Jack’s ears perked up. A Michigan kid. And judging by the graphic he was a defenseman too.Huh.





	Words Too Small For Any Hope or Promise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NotUlysses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotUlysses/gifts).



> This fic caused me so many problems, I almost didn't write it, but I am pretty happy with the end result and I hope you are too!

Jack was never one to pay attention to the draft. Even when it came to his own draft he wasn’t nearly as excited about it as all the other kids who were bouncing around and fidgeting in their seats while their parents fused with their tie. It didn’t interest him. 

 

The only thing he cared about was when the kid actually joined the team and was contributing, other than that it didn’t matter to him.

 

Yet, in a muggy June day he found himself holding the neck of a beer bottle watching the 2015 Entry Draft. It had been a while, exactly ten years ago, since the last time he watched this. For the most part it didn’t really feel like anything had changed, Gary was still there and there were still in-between-pick trades, the only thing different were the kids. 

 

He had told himself he’d only watch for the Blue Jackets first pick, which was eighth overall, because no way could he watch hours of this shit. 

 

When Ville got up to the podium and said, “From the University of Michigan” Jack’s ears perked up. A Michigan kid. And judging by the graphic he was a defenseman too. 

 

Huh. 

 

Jack smiled to himself before taking the last drink of his beer as he watched the kid put the jersey on for a few pictures. It would be nice to not be the only guy on team who was a Michigan fan. It was always hard to chirp Boone about it when there was only one of them. 

 

It’s later, about two hours later, when he gets a text from Nick.

 

**_Have you texted Zach?_ **

 

It takes him a minute to remember who Zach was. Right, the kid Jarmo drafted, the kid from Michigan. 

 

**_No? I don’t have his number._ **

 

Nick texts back with Zach’s number and saying that it would probably be nice to hear from the other guy who went to Michigan. Something about making the kid feel welcome, which was weird because it wasn’t like Zach was going to be playing with them next season or anything. Still, he sends off a quick text to Zach.

 

**_Hey, it’s Jack Johnson, welcome to the team! Go Michigan!_ **

 

He’s slightly tipsy, but he figures that should be good enough. If it wasn’t then Nick can text Zach something longer and more heartfelt. It doesn’t come to any surprise that Zach does not text him back, probably too busy celebrating with his family. 

 

Right, Jack remembers those days even if he tries not to. 

 

When he wakes up the next morning to go for his run there’s a new message from a number he doesn’t recognize. 

**_thanks! Go Blue!_ **

 

It doesn’t take him long to figure out that the message is from Zach and he smiles at his phone before saving the number and getting ready for the rest of his day.

 

\-----

 

Jack does not watch the 2017 Entry Draft, instead he reads over the same text from Nick about five times before figuring out what to respond with.

 

**_Hey Jack, Zach is coming to columbus in august a couple weeks before training camp and i wont be here do you think you could show him around? Besides he wont stop talking about wanting to meet you lol_ **

 

It’s a lot for him to unpack, starting with the fact he has to show Zach around as if he’s the captain of this team. Jack isn’t sure how to be a leader anymore, how to be someone that others look up to. Things are getting better with the whole  _ parents trying to ruin my life  _ thing, but he’s still having to deal with all the personal shit that came from it. 

 

(The bottle of antidepressants on the table reminds him of it.)

 

He isn’t sure how to feel about Zach wanting to meet him like he’s a role model of some sorts. Has Zach been following his legal battles? Does he know all the shit that’s happened? But he went to UMich, so that gives them a common thread. 

 

**_Yeah sure. I’ll text him my address._ **

 

Now he has to wait months until Zach gets here and he’s getting anxious thinking about it already. 

 

“What the fuck did you just get yourself into, Jack?” He mumbles to himself as he pulls out a beer. 

 

Naturally Zach texts him a few minutes after Jack sends over his address.

 

**_Thanks man! Oh btw is okay if i stay with you before i find an apt during training camp?_ **

 

Jack has always been a people pleaser, maybe that’s why he got himself into the situation with his parents, so of course he texts back that of course Zach can stay with him.

 

\-----

 

It’s the day before Zach’s suppose to arrive and Jack is suddenly realizing that he has no idea what he’s doing. He went grocery shopping the day before and the guest bedroom is all made up, but what is he suppose to do with Zach while he’s here? Is he suppose to make sure Zach is constantly entertained?

 

The one good thing Jack has going for him is the list of restaurants he saved in a document on his phone and his XBOX in the living that Nick got him for his birthday this year. 

 

There’s also the fact that he doesn’t even really know Zach to begin with. They’ve only texted a few times and now he’s going to spending a few weeks in his apartment. 

 

Jack knows he should’ve put more thought into this, but honestly as if lately the last thing on his mind was a entertaining a guy he hardly knew. Nick would’ve been so much better at this, it’s partially why he’s the captain, he’s good with making the younger guys feel comfortable and like they’re a part of the team. 

 

**_What the fuck am i suppose to do with Zach?_ **

 

He ends up texting Nick around midnight, hoping that he’s still awake to text him back.

 

**_Make sure he doesnt get lost in the city or get arrested._ **

 

Jack rolls his eyes.  **_Very funny. I mean for like...entertainment or something, nick._ **

 

**_You have the XBox right? Play nhl16 with him. Show him around the city. You can do this jack._ **

 

\-----

 

Zach gets to his apartment around noon with suitcase and hockey bag in hand with a smile on his face. “Hey, it’s good to finally meet you.” 

 

Jack lets him in and leads him down the hall to where he’ll be staying. “Yeah, it’s...it’s good to meet you too. I’ve heard lots of good things about you.”

 

The room has a bunch of Jack’s hockey memorabilia in it, like his UMich jersey, USA jersey, his silver medal, the puck from his first NHL goal and so on, which fascinates the hell out of Zach. “You were amazing at Michigan. You were the player I most wanted to be like from there.” 

 

For a moment Jack just stares at him, pretty sure his face is flushing. “Really? You wanted to be like  _ me? _ ”

 

Zach shrugs, staring at the silver medal before looking back at Jack. “You’re still one of my favorite players.” 

 

Jack really has no idea what to do with that information, the idea of being someone’s favorite player is just baffling to him, so he coughs awkwardly and shifts back and forth on his feet. He’s pretty no one has ever told him they wanted to model their hockey career after him or that he was their favorite player. There are dozens and dozens of flashier and more efficient defensemen than himself, he’s not ashamed to admit that, and Jack wouldn’t even want child Jack to pick himself as his favorite player. 

 

Jack doesn't really know what to say to that, so he finally turns towards Zach after staring longingly at his UMich jersey. “Are you hungry? I know a couple of good places for lunch.”

 

_ Obviously,  _ he thinks to himself. The kid probably already knows that Jack knows good places for lunch since he's played here for the past five seasons. 

 

“Yeah, sure!” Zach says excitedly and is already out the bedroom door heading towards to the foyer where he took his shoes off like a good ole American boy who was taught well by his mother. His mom did the same thing with him, always barked at him when he stepped on the carpet in his shoes. 

 

The car ride to the restaurant is spent mostly with Zach trying to find something to listen to on the XM radio in Jack’s car. “What kind of music do you usually listen to?”

 

“Um,” Jack shrugs, “Mostly rock. A lot of softer stuff, too, I guess.” 

 

He doesn't know  _ why  _ talking to Zach is so awkward for him, like he's struggling to find words that won't bore him; Jack knows college boys have a very short attention span. 

 

Zach just smiles at him, listens carefully to every word, before turning to look out the window at the city. “I already like it here. It's not too big, but there's always stuff going on, yeah?”

 

Jack taps the beat to whatever song Zach turned on on the steering wheel and nods. “I think so. Don't really go out that much, you're better off asking Boone or one of the other young guys.”

 

“Think my fake ID will work here?” Zach grins, widely, and Jack can't help but to laugh. 

 

“I'm sure there are a few places that’ll let you in.” Jack says with a smile and Zach just keeps grinning at him. He'd find it kind of weird, but he's happy to see the kid happy. Takes a little weight off his shoulders.

 

There's a sudden anxiety that he's picked a place that Zach won't like, he knows not everybody loves sushi and he definitely should've asked. He can always find a new place if Zach doesn't- “Oh wow, haven't had sushi in forever.” He says and Jack lets out a sigh of relief. 

 

Jack doesn't talk much during lunch, but neither does Zach, he watches Zach watch the people and everything going on around them (it's nice enough to sit outside after a few days of constant raining). 

 

“Did you like Columbus at first?” Zach asks and it takes Jack a little by surprise, enough to make him cough on his beer. 

 

No, he didn't like Columbus at first. He came in towards the end of a  _ bad  _ year and he was bitter about being traded from a team in the playoffs to a team that was dead fucking last. He played actually pretty well, fourteen points in twenty-one games isn't bad, but he was just...bitter. 

 

“It took some getting used to. I was traded from Los Angeles, so…” Jack laughed a little, “it was pretty different.”

 

Zach smiles and finishes the last of his sushi. “I've always liked smaller cities...easier to blend in.”

 

Jack wants to tell him he's the biggest storyline this season and there's no  _ way  _ he's going to blend in, but instead he nods his head and says, “Yeah, I've always liked being able to blend in with the crowd too,” trying not to sound too depressed as he says it. 

 

Even during a game he tries to just blend in, he isn't flashy like Seth, but he tries to be steady and make sure he does his job well. He isn't expecting a Norris trophy anytime soon, he's just expecting a decent season. 

 

\-----

 

Zach drives around the city in his own car for a bit, tells Jack he'll be home in half an hour or so. Jack tells him he isn't his dad and Zach just smiles. “Didn't want you to worry.”

 

Jack’s not worried about Zach. As long as he comes home in one piece, he’ll be fine. He just doesn't want to visit the hospital, because the rookie he's looking after did some dumb rookie shit. Then he'd have to deal with Nick being mad at him for not taking care of Zach. This is why he can't have kids, he'd end up fucking something up. He's thankful that Zach is smart to not end up arrested or in the hospital.

 

Zach, just like he said, comes home about forty-five minutes later and puts his keys in the bowl in the foyer and takes his shoes off to put them in the closet like he lives there. Then he joins Jack on the couch where he watching NHL Tonight talk about their preseason predictions. It feels normal. “What do they say about us?”

 

Jack shakes his head. “I'm sure you can figure it out.” Everyone and their mother is saying they're a bottom feeder and Jack can't help but to get mad, because they're better than a lottery pick team.

 

“They're saying we’re going to win the cup, right?” Zach delivers it with such a dry sense of humor that Jack can't help but to laugh. 

 

Maybe the kid is alright.

 

\-----

 

He wakes up at seven thirty in the morning, makes breakfast and debates on whether to go for his morning run and leave a note for Zach or to just skip it all together. It wouldn't be the end of the world to skip it, but the mile run Torts is going to make them run scares him. 

 

Only a little, but he's trying to make sure that he's actually able to run it in under twelve minutes. Jack knows he isn't going to be the fastest, but...he doesn't needs need a spotlight on him if he doesn't make it under. 

 

He's thumbing through the group chat and everyone talking about gearing up from camp when Zach sits down at the table across from him. “Can I make breakfast?”

 

Jack jumps, only slightly, but enough for Zach to notice and while he doesn't say anything the smile on his face says it all. “Um, yeah, help yourself. I was going to go for a run, so I'll be gone-”

 

“Can I come with you?” Zach gets up from the table like he's already on his way to grabs his tennis shoes.

 

Jack raises an eyebrow and it isn't like he can tell him no, because that would be rude. Besides, Zach is  _ new  _ and Jack wants him to feel welcomed. “Sure, but you should eat first. Don't want you passing out or something.” He smiles and tries not to laugh as Zach makes a protein shake. 

 

“What?” He asks as he catches Jack looking at him and Jack didn't even realize he was staring at him as Zach drank his shake.

 

“Nothing. You ready?” 

  
  


Running with Zach makes him feel older than he really is. The entire run Zach is at least five feet ahead of him, looking over his shoulder with an expressionless face to shout “Try to keep up.” Jack thought he was a fine runner, but then Zach just had to show him otherwise.

 

Of course, Zach is nineteen and has more stamina than Jack ever remembers having. He wants to catch up to him though, wants to prove himself to this  _ kid  _ who doesn't even know him, so he digs down deep and pushes himself to keep pace with Zach for the next five minutes until they get back to his apartment. 

 

When they do get back Jack tries to act like he's not out of breath climbing the two flights of stairs. “Good run…” He manages as he goes to the kitchen to get a tall glass of water, it doesn't help that September in Columbus can literally feel like hell. 

 

Zach looks totally fine. He's sweating, but he looks like he could run for another thirty minutes and be fine. “That was fun! Are we going again tomorrow?”

 

Jack has a hard time comprehending that Zach actually wants to go back out with him. Or maybe that's just the fact that he has a hard time comprehending anyone wanting to spend time with him. “We...we can.” 

 

“Cool,” Zach says nonchalantly, then flops down onto Jack’s couch like he lives there and turns on the TV.

 

He catches himself staring at him again, but looks away before Zach can say anything and goes to take a shower.

 

It's nice having another person staying in the apartment, it feels less like a place where Jack just lives and more like a home. Like how his home in Indiana used to feel on Thanksgiving or how his dorm used to feel when five guys from the team would all hang out in it. He could get used to it if it wasn't for the fact that Zach would very much be moving out in a month when he made the team. 

 

It'll be fine, Jack thinks, because then I'll get my privacy back. 

 

Of course, it's nice not being alone either. 

 

\-----

 

He feels bad for keeping Zach inside on a Friday night, but Zach just shrugs and says that he doesn't even know the bars to go to, so he's fine staying in with Jack. 

 

They end up playing NHL17 with Jack being the Blue Jackets and Zach the Red Wings. “Old habits die hard.” He says with a smile and a light blush. 

 

“Don't worry, I won't tell the guys.” Jack smiles and knocks their shoulders together. 

 

Jack absolutely sucks at video games, but especially NHL17. He has no idea what he's doing and gets his ass handed to him more than a few times, because he keeps telling Zach he's going to win the next match. “Good thing I'm better at actual hockey.”

 

Zach laughs quietly and puts his hands over Jack’s on the controller, helping him move his fingers faster so he can react the computer’s moves. “Now press L1.” And Jack does and his little player shoots the puck winning the game. “Hey, you do it!” 

 

Jack suddenly becomes acutely aware of Zach’s hands and how one of his arms is around his back. He tries not to think too much about it, tries not to react too... _ much _ , because he's not entirely sure how Zach will respond. They stay like that for a moment before Jack yawns, handing the controller to him. “I'm going to bed, but you can keep playing. I think I have a few other games in the basket besides the Xbox if you want something else.”

 

Zach nods, looking a little tired himself. “Good night, Jack.”

 

“Good night, Zach,” He smiles and then heads to his bedroom. 

 

Once in his room he tries not to think about how he's still imagining Zach’s hands on his own, or his arm wrapped around his back. Jack has no idea what Zach was thinking when he did that, why he he had the need to touch his hands and get up into his personal bubble. 

 

The kid, more than anything, confuses the hell out of him. 

 

\-----

 

It's a Saturday and Jack decides they don't need to go for a run today, because they went the past few days and he figures Zach will want to sleep in. Besides, they stayed up ridiculously late playing video games and...Jack shakes his head, trying to forget about whatever happened. 

 

Not that anything  _ really  _ happened. 

 

It's barely nine in the morning when his phone rings and UNKNOWN CALLER is displayed on the screen. He only has two cups of coffee in him, so he answers it.

 

It's his lawyer. The judge is coming to a decision in the next couple of days. It probably isn't going to be the outcome Jack wanted. His lawyer is telling him to calm down. 

 

When he looks up Zach is standing awkwardly in the dining area. “Okay, okay, bye.” He hangs up and sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Hey, morning, Zach.”

 

Zach finally takes a few steps to sit down in a chair at the table, completely quiet.

 

“Did I wake you up? I'm really sorry about that, I honestly shouldn't have even answered the call. You see my lawyer…” Jack trails off before telling a nineteen year old his financial troubles. “It's a long story and I don't want to bore you.” 

 

“Is everything okay?” He still sounds like he's half asleep and Jack is really mad at himself for waking him up. 

 

Ha. Jack wants to laugh at Zach’s question. “Yeah, yeah, just…” He sighs. “It's fine.”

 

Zach gets up and pours himself a cup of coffee, doesn't even ask...not that he needs to.  “Were we going to go for a run today?”

 

“Wasn't planning on it.” He finishes up his coffee and ignores the text message from Nick that asks how everything is going. 

 

“We’re going.” He finishes his coffee and stares blankly at Jack until he finally moves. 

 

Jack isn't really sure when he started taking orders from a teenager, but he doesn't really mind. 

 

\-----

 

They take it slow so it's more like a leisurely run than anything, or maybe Zach’s just going easy on him so they can run side by side. It's hard to tell with him.

 

“Are you okay?” Zach asks as they stop for a water break and Jack tries to catch his breath right before Zach’s question knocks the wind right out of him again.

 

Jack shrugs, tries to keep it casual, because he doesn't want to tell his troubles to Zach who isn't going to understand or possibly even care. “Yeah, just a little tried that's all.”

 

Zach takes a seat at the bench and wipes his forehead off with the bottom of his shirt. Jack looks at the sidewalk instead. “What about your lawyer?”

 

“Zach, it's fine. I'm fine. Everything is being handled.” He smiles and sits down next to him, knocking his knee against Zach’s.

 

He's quiet for a moment, thinking over his response, and Jack thinks he's trying to be thoughtful. Jack doesn't like talking about his legal troubles because then it evolves into talking about his mental troubles. And Jack  _ really  _ does not like talking about how he almost killed himself last year. 

 

“It's going to be okay, yeah?” Zach says, “You're going to be okay.” Then he smiles and...Jack doesn't have any words for that. 

 

He never thought a nineteen year old would be trying to comfort him without knowing all the dark details about all his problems. Jack smiles back finally and nods his head, “Yeah, I’m going to be alright.”

 

They then race back to the apartment and Zach wins easily. “As my reward I want you to make lunch.”

 

Jack raises an eyebrow as he unlocks the door and immediately turns the air on. “Hey, we didn't discuss rewards, I didn't know we we’re playing for anything.”

 

“Oh,” Zach grins, “I always play for something.”

 

There is then a strange sinking feeling in Jack’s stomach and his heart feels like it's in his throat. “Fine.”

 

\-----

 

Making lunch usually relaxes Jack, he likes getting all the ingredients together and listening to the sizzle of whatever vegetables he has in a pan and the smells of the spices he used on the meat he decided on. He can glide in the kitchen and find everything with ease and not worry about bumping into someone else.

 

“What are you making?” Zach asks suddenly from right behind Jack as he's at the stove.

 

Jack jumps and he grumbles to himself as Zach laughs at him. “Lemon chicken with asparagus. And  _ don't  _ scare me like that, fuck.”

 

Zach is almost right up against his back, peering over his shoulder trying to get a good look at what is going on. “It looks good.” His arm wraps around Jack’s to try to get a taste by using the spatula. “Taste good too!”

 

_ Focus on the food _ , he tells himself despite the fact he can feel Zach’s body heat. Despite the fact he can feel the muscles in Zach’s arms pressing against his own. “Thanks…” He mumbles, moving away from Zach because he needs to breath and get ahold of himself. 

 

Jack figures that Zach knows what he's doing. Knows that he's toeing the line between them being friends and teammates and...flirting. He figures Zach has a crush because he's looked up to him and now he's meeting the guy he's looked up to. If Jack was Zach’s age and hanging out with the hockey player he looked up to maybe he would’ve done the same. It isn’t that Jack necessarily  _ minds _ , but his life is messy as it is. 

 

He doesn't need Zach to help in that department. 

  
  


\-----

 

It's easy to distance himself from Zach after he moves out and in with Josh. They see each when they're being hockey players and that's fine, Jack can handle that, but when Nick drags him out to a bar and Zach is there with the rest of the team things get...he tries not to think about it. 

 

“Zach seems to like you! I'm glad he found a...mentor of sorts.” Nick smiles before taking a drink of his beer and Jack laughs quietly with the music being his cover. “I hung out with him after one of the training camp sessions and he couldn't stop talking about you. So...thanks for taking care of him for those couple of weeks.”

 

Jack just smiles, because he can't tell Nick the truth. Not when it's too muddy and Jack hasn't sorted through it himself. “I think he was just in awe of meeting the guy he looked up to. I imagine he won't even care about me in November.”

 

Nick raises an eyebrow, slowly, and just looks at Jack like he's trying to figure what exactly that meant. “You guys are  _ friends _ . I'm sure you'll still hang out.”

 

There's no way Jack can say  _ no, we aren't, because I need Zach to get over his crush on me and because I can't have a crush on a fucking rookie who only likes me because of some sort of hero worship.  _

 

Once it gets to December and they haven't hung out once and Zach hangs out with the younger guys, things will balance themselves back out and everything will go back to normal. 

 

Still, something flips as Zach looks over at him while he's dancing with a random guy with a smile on his face, paying more attention to Jack than his dance partner. 

 

\-----

 

“Do you wanna get lunch?” Zach asks after practice sneaking up right beside Jack who was busy getting his gear back into his bag. 

 

They haven’t hung out in over a month. Jack thinks it’s over a month and a half and he figured that by this point Zach wouldn’t have any interest in him. Go figure that he turns out to be wrong.

Jack smiles and nods his head, because he can’t think of a good enough excuse to say no fast enough. He rides shotgun to Zach’s driver and he can’t help but to smile about how fast Zach has made Columbus a home of sorts. The city, of course, has already adopted him and loves him more than Jack has seen a city love a new player. Jack shouldn’t really be surprised, because Zach adapts quickly on the rink, so why shouldn’t that follow through to his personal life? 

 

Zach picks a taco place and it probably wasn’t going to be a place that Jack suggested, his lunches are usually something lighter, he doesn’t exactly want to tell Zach no after he was the one who invited him. 

 

“Are you mad at me?” Is the first thing out of Zach’s mouth once they sit down and place their drink orders. If Jack had been drinking he probably would’ve done a spit take.

 

“What…? No, of course not. Why would I be mad at you?” Zach’s as good as a kid as you can ask for, so Jack doesn’t follow.

 

There’s a lull and Zach shrugs his shoulders, retreating a bit, looking more like a ninteen year old than ever. “I mean...we hung out before training camp and then once everything started you’ve just kind of...ignored me. I wasn’t sure if I did something or not.” 

 

Oh fuck. Jack didn’t think that Zach would actually notice, actually  _ care _ , that he was pulling away. He figured that Zach would be too busy to notice. “Um…” He sighs, “I’m not mad at you. I just...things got busy.”

He doesn’t look like he fully believes Jack, but he accepts it with a smile. “Can we go back to your place after lunch and play NHL17?” 

 

Really, how is Jack suppose to say no to him. “Sure.” 

 

\-----

 

There is a distance between them now. They sit a couple feet away from each other on the couch and Zach keeps his distance, besides punching Jack’s shoulder when he naturally beats him. But it’s more than just physical distance. There’s an almost awkwardness that dictacts exactly how Jack will respond to Zach. Jack tries not to think about it, or why it’s even there, instead he focuses on the video game that causes him so much frustration. 

 

Still...it’s nice to see Zach smile.

 

They play a few rounds of that before Zach goes into the kitchen, once again like he lives there even though he hasn’t been over in months, to get a drink. There’s suddenly a small crash and the sound of small objects hitting metal. “Oh  _ fuck _ .” 

 

Jack gets up and in the kitchen there’s Zach leaning over the sink and a prescription bottle on its side. “What happened?”

 

Zach looks embarrassed, face red and he can’t really meet Jack’s eye. “I was getting a drink and I guess the lid wasn’t really shut on the bottle of medication and…” He looks down at the floor.

 

Jack heads over to the sink and there’s about fifteen small white pills sitting in it. The bottle itself is completely empty. Of course it’s his antidepressants. He wants to be mad at Zach, because it’s going to be tough to get more of a drug with addictive qualities, but it was an accident, so he takes a deep breath and clasps Zach’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Zach. It was an accident.” 

 

He’s quiet for a moment before finally looking Jack in the eye. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah...I guess you saw the prescription then,” Zach nods his head, “Right, of course. Well, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” 

 

There’s another long pause. “I used to be on that medicine too.”

 

Jack shakes his head, not computing what exactly Zach said. “What?”

 

Zach sits down at the kitchen table and Jack sits down in the chair right beside him. “It was my freshman year of college and I was younger than everyone else and I had Dylan, but...I just felt like I shouldn’t be there. It was hard to make friends with the other guys on the team, I thought they saw me as this little kid. The classes were hard, too, and my anxiety got really bad. During the winter break I saw a psychiatrist. Things got a little easier after that and during my sophomore year...I was better at managing the anxiety and was able to really become good friends with the guys on the team. Last year in Cleveland it was kind of the same thing and I saw a team therapist, she really helped me.”

 

Jack just listens with his jaw dropped and suddenly feels awful about ignoring him, but it wasn’t like he knew anyways. It’s nice though, to have someone on the team who at least has an idea what it’s like to live with depression and anxiety. Talking to Nick is great and all, but sometimes he doesn’t fully grasp it. “Thank you for sharing.” He smiles and puts his hand back on Zach’s shoulder. “If things get bad you can talk to me, okay?”

 

Zach smiles back and nods his head. “If things get bad for you you can talk to me.”

 

He’s not entirely sure if a nineteen year old would actually be able to help him, but the idea of having someone else who  _ gets it  _ is nice. 

 

\-----

 

Zach comes over to his apartment after practice where Jack makes lunch for both of them. He’s quieter than usual and looks to be deep in thought when Jack finally asks him if he’s okay. “I’m thinking about last night’s game.”

 

It was an overtime loss to Colorado. It was a tough loss, a bitter pill they had to swallow to realize they still had a long way to go if they wanted to be great. After eleven seasons in the league though Jack has finally figured out how not to overthink the losses. Or the wins for that matter. That once you’re away from the rink you shouldn’t be thinking about it too much. It messes with you and your own ability when you do. “It was a tough loss, but we know what to work on and that we can be better, that’s the important thing. How we bounce back.”

 

Zach sighs and picks at the salmon Jack made. “I should’ve had my guy in overtime.”   
  
“You can’t blame the entire game on yourself. There were two other guys on the ice with you who should’ve helped. I could’ve had my guy for one of the goals, the offense could’ve had more high danger shots. There’s a lot that goes into a game and we’re all to blame.” He doesn’t want Zach to feel like the entire organization is on his shoulders, that if something goes wrong it’s obviously his fault. It’s not a healthy way to live in Jack’s mind. 

 

The next game isn’t any better. 

 

\-----

 

Zach follows him home again and they sit at the kitchen table drinking decaf coffee, because Jack actually wants to go to sleep at some point. “How do you...stop worrying about hockey once you’re away from the rink? Because you never seem too concerned and I’m...always concerned.”

 

“Well, it took me a few seasons to figure out how, but I realized that once the game is over it’s over. I can’t change what happened, I can only focus on the next game and I know that I need to be better. It’s not like...college, where you have homework outside of class. At the rink it’s your job to give a hundred percent no matter what it is, but away?” Jack shrugs, “It isn’t your job anymore.”

 

It doesn’t look like Zach fully grasps the concept, which is fine, because it took Jack until his last season in Los Angeles to finally figure it out. Of course now he has off ice issues that cause him anxiety. 

 

“I just...I don’t want to let the team down, you know?”

 

His heartbreaks a little at that and he kind of knows what that’s like, because he was drafted higher than Zach. When he got to Los Angeles people still thought he could be this  _ great  _ defenseman, hell  _ he  _ thought he could be this great defenseman. Then he got traded and the Kings won the Cup that summer. It stung. “You aren't. Zach, you're nineteen and one of the best defensemen on this team and soon you'll be one of the best defensemen in the league. We all think, and know, you're great.”

 

Zach sighs and finishes off his coffee. “I just want to help us win.”

 

“You  _ are _ . It's only November right now. A lot of hockey left and we’re in a good position to possibly make the playoffs.” Jack doesn't want to jinx them, so he tries to keep it vague. They have a chance to make it, but the scars from last year are still visible and they could squander it all. 

 

“Thanks, Jack,” says Zach with a small smile. Jack can tell he's still thinking about the game, but he looks like he's at least relaxed a little bit. “Should probably go back home before Josh calls the police.” There's a small laugh accompanied with it.

 

They walk to the door together and Zach hugs him. Jack doesn't move besides wrap an arm around him. “Um...good night, Zach.”

 

Zach pulls away, still just a few feet apart from him, with a smile on face. “Just wanted to say...thanks for talking to me. It's nice having someone on the team who gets it.”

 

Jack just nods his head, still trying to sort out his thoughts. “Yeah, of course.”

 

\-----

  
  


“Jack, c’mon, it’ll be fun!” Boone says with a wide grin as he pulls on his OSU hat. The Michigan/Ohio State game is today and everyone is trying to convince Jack to join the rest of the team watching the game. “We need at least  _ one  _ Michigan fan there!”

 

Jack raises an eyebrow, “What about Zach?”

 

Out of nowhere Seth appears by Boone’s side, shrugging, “Said he wasn’t feeling good or something.” 

 

Jack tries not to read too much into it. “That’s too bad. Maybe I’ll join you guys next year.”

 

He was never really interested in football to begin with. Naturally over the course of two years at the University of Michigan he went to a few games and he obviously wanted them to beat Ohio State, but it was mostly out of loyalty to his alma mater. 

 

When it got to halftime he almost wished he went to the team viewing party considering Michigan was up 10-7. He didn’t really like taunting, but he would’ve loved to talk shit with Boone about the score. He ended up just sending a text in the group chat that was just the yellow emoji that looked like the letter ‘M’. The guys reacted just as he thought they would. 

 

Partially through the third quarter there was a knock on his door and part of him was not surprised that it was Zach on the other side. “Hey, are you watching the game? I kinda wanted to watch it with the other Michigan guy.” He sounded like he was getting sick, but he was smiling all the same. 

 

“Yeah, of course. Although are you okay? You sound terrible.” He let Zach in who nodded his head enthusiastically and he wasn’t Zach’s dad, so it wasn’t like he was about to send Zach home and tell him to go rest. Unlike last time Zach was over when he practically sat on the other end of the couch, Zach was almost pressed right up against him. When Michigan scored a touchdown Zach had to make sure not to hit Jack when he reacted. 

 

It was nice having someone else to watch these games with him, someone who rooting for the same team as him for once. Zach, apparently, was very into football, just based on how he reacted when Michigan would score, make a good play (or a bad one) or when Ohio State started to make their comeback. 

 

Having Zach around, who was clearly very into the game, made Jack suddenly get invested. He can't help that it would be nice to see Michigan win just so the two of them can having bragging rights over the guys. 

 

“Fuck.” Was all that either of them said once Ohio State had won the game. 

 

“Boone is going to be unbearable tomorrow.” Zach sighs and he reaches for the remote to flip through the channels. “You don't watch a lot of TV do you?”

 

Jack takes a drink of his beer, smiling around the opening as Zach talked about Boone. “Not really. I mean, I don't really have a bunch of free time to sit down and watch TV shows.”

 

“You have free time now,” He says, teasing. Zach ends up turning on  _ Band of Brothers _ , not that Jack has seen it so it doesn't matter. “This is one of my favorite shows.”

 

They watch the first few episodes without any interruptions besides when Jack makes dinner. Then they realize how dark it is and how late it really is, so Zach goes home after they finish they third episode.

 

It's a good show, Jack has to admit, which is why he watches the next few episodes. 

 

\-----

 

On the flight to Colorado Zach sits next to him and is about to pull on his headphones when Jack spills that he watched a few more episodes of  _ Band of Brothers _ . “I usually don't really care for TV shows, but it's incredible so far.”

 

Zach just smiles, not wide, but just like he knew that Jack would like that show or something. “After you finish you should watch  _ The Pacific _ , it's by the same people, but it's about the Pacific arena.”

 

Jack makes a mental note about it and smiles back at him. “Guess if I want to watch TV I'll just ask you what to watch.”

 

“I'm okay with that,” Zach then puts on his headphones and rests his head against the window.

 

Jack thinks he's okay with it too, but it's mostly for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with TV. As he thinks that another voice inside him tell him he really needs to get a grip. He would stop hanging out with Zach, but it's fun and usually they just sit in silence watching something or laugh while Jack continues sucking at NHL17. Zach isn't bugging him about his parents (not that he knows), his depression, his legal battle and anything else that Jack is just sick of talking about to the guys. He knows they care and he’s  _ glad  _ they care, but sometimes he just wants to forget about all that for a few hours. 

 

\-----

 

Jack doesn't ask questions when Zach stops by after their shootout win against the Kings when he should be out celebrating with the rest of the guys.

 

(The only reason Jack's not our celebrating is because he always feels too old for that shit and Nick didn't drag him out this time. Which is fine, because he doesn't need to drink five beers. He  _ shouldn't  _ drink at all with his medicine, but his psychiatrist can't really stop him.)

 

Instead Zach grabs a glass of water and sits next to Jack on the couch. “Ten wins in a row.”

 

Hearing Zach say it out loud makes him laugh, because   _ holy shit  _ who is this team? At this rate they could actually make the playoffs. “I've never been a part of a team like this,” he says with a smile. 

 

“The playoff run with the Monsters last year was pretty great, but this is…” Zach trails off and just smiles at him. Jack looks away eventually filled with, maybe not guilt, but there's something inside him telling him he should feel bad. “Have you finished  _ Band of Brothers _ ? Because we should finish it tonight!”

 

It's already late, but Jack just nods his head and pulls up the series on his TV. For the most part Jack’s been too busy to finish watching the series, but part of him was waiting to watch with Zach.

 

They start the second to last episode and it looks like Zach is nodding off. “Zach, maybe you should go back to your place. Get an uber or something to take you back.”

 

Zach yawns and shakes his head. “‘M fine.”

 

“You can come over after practice tomorrow and we’ll finish it then,” says Jack with a small smile. 

 

But Zach protests that he's fine and so Jack plays the episode. He's mostly keeping an eye on Zach and has one hand on his phone ready to get an uber for him.

 

Of course as they start the season finale Zach falls asleep on Jack’s shoulder. Jack pauses the episode and sighs a bit as he looks down at Zach. Asleep Zach looks so young and Jack knows that it has to stop. They can be friends, but he needs to put some distance between them.

 

For now, though, Jack tells Zach that he can sleep here in the spare bedroom and Zach just nods and walks towards the room. “G’night, Jack,” He says with a sleepy smile and Jack just smiles back at him.

 

\-----

 

Putting distance between them is just as easy as it was at the beginning of the season. 

 

Jack starts hanging out with the older guys again, mostly Nick, but he hangs out with Hartsy, Matty, and David too. 

 

It's easy to grab lunch or stay close to them at the bar and let Zach hang out with the other rookies and younger guys.  

 

The guilty feeling in his stomach slowly dissolves into nothing as the days go by without hanging out with Zach. He should've stuck with it in the first place and maybe he wouldn't have had to deal with the guilt of every time Zach smiled at him brightly. 

 

He's thankful that Nick doesn't ask him about, because he isn't sure if he can completely honest with him and lying to Nick makes him feel even more guilty. 

 

\-----

 

For once when they have their team Christmas dinner things are fun. Last year, while it was fun, was depressing because everything was going terribly on the ice. Jack’s not sure how they’ve managed to win twelve games in a row, but he isn’t going to complain. They’re finally winning and people are finally showing up to their games to the point of sell-outs or almost sell-outs. It’s like a dream. Actually, it is a dream, because  _ this  _ is what he’s dreamed about since he came to Columbus and made it his home. 

 

The rookies and younger guys are really making it possible and Jack doesn’t think they’re in this position if they didn’t have Zach or Seth. 

 

At this point it doesn’t even surprise him when Z does his post-game interviews with a straight face. The kid is so calm and collected, on ice and off, that Jack wonders if he really is a rookie who’s only nineteen years old. 

 

For Christmas Nick hosts, because his house is the biggest, and everyone makes him host it since he’s the captain after all. “I really gotta do everything around here, huh?” He says after their win over Montreal, their last game before the short Christmas break. 

 

“Yes!” They all reply back with a grin as Nick rolls his eyes.

 

They all make a dish or bring alcohol, Jack makes a roasted potato dish that his mom always made and tries to ignore that fact the entire time making it. 

 

He’s close to being finished and headed over to Nick’s when there’s a knock at his door. When he opens it there’s Zach in a nice sweater, he’s even wearing a tie under it. He’s overdressed based on the tie alone, but Jack doesn’t say anything, because...it looks good on him. He looks older than nineteen. “Um, I can’t cook and I can’t buy alcohol.”

 

(This is why he put distance between them, but it's clear that Zach wasn't aware that that was happening. Probably only thought that Jack was busy and he was having fun with the other guys. 

 

He wants to be mad at Zach for showing up, but he...he really can't.)

 

Jack laughs for a few seconds and stands to the side so he can come into the apartment. “Here, you can bring my food dish and I’ll buy a bottle of wine on the way there. It’s almost done.”

 

Zach keeps messing with his tie and fidgeting with his hands and Jack isn’t going to ask him about it, but then he starts tapping his foot excessively against the barstool. “What's up, jitters?” 

 

“Can we talk?” Only it comes out as almost all one word and Jack nods his head, hoping that something isn't actually wrong. Zach takes a deep breath and Jack takes a seat at the bar next to him. “I…” He takes another deep breath, “I like you.”

 

Jack just blinks at him trying to comprehend what Zach is saying. He knows he doesn't mean as a friend, but oh how he wished he did, because he can't do  _ this _ . Not right after he started getting over his crush on him. “Zach...that's…that's a bad idea.”

 

Zach looks a little braver now that he's got the main confession out of the way, like he's so sure of what is going to happen next. “Jack you've been one of my closest friends while I've been here. We hang out all the time and...I like you,” he says again as if that's going to make Jack change his mind. 

 

He had always hoped that Zach had gotten over his crush sometime in the fall, maybe when he first started to pull away. Now he has to break Zach’s heart, which was the last thing he wanted. “I know, Zach, but we’re friends and that's all we can be. I'm almost thirty years old and you're nineteen.”

 

“I'm of age!” Zach says desperately, realizing that maybe he was wrong all along.

 

It makes him chuckle, because he knew that was going to be his response. In fact it was also Jack’s response to himself when he was trying to justify his crush. But it came down to the fact that he was going to be thirty next month and there's no way to justify liking a nineteen year old, even if they  _ are  _ of age. “There's plenty of younger guys on the team if you want to like someone on the team. C’mon, Zach, how would we even make this work? I don't think guys on the team would be too happy for us. Meeting your parents would be awkward as hell. You deserve someone your own age.”

 

Zach sighs and turns on his stool so he's looking right at Jack. He looks like a man defeated. Like how he does after a tough loss. It breaks his heart, really, but it's the right thing to do. The  _ only  _ thing to do. “Can I ask you something?” His voice now quiet and a sad smile on his face. “Actually maybe two things.”

 

Jack nods, “Go for it.”

 

“First, if I was older, like, in my mid-twenties would this be okay?” 

 

He doesn't want to give the kid false hope, but if Zach really  _ was  _ older then maybe he wouldn't feel so shitty about liking him. “If you were older? Yeah, this would be okay, but…that doesn't mean it's going to happen. You know that, right?” 

 

Zach nods his head and prepares himself for the second question. “It's...you don't have to say yes, but I just thought I'd ask. Can I kiss you?”

 

Jack smiles a little and there's that giving Zach false hope thing again, there's his kryptonite. This is really the last thing Zach needs right now, but he hopes that Zach will handle it well. That he’ll move on to someone his age and forget about Jack. 

 

(Worse case scenario is that Zach does not move on and their only interaction is them just looking at one another thinking about what could be. Jack would really like for that to not happen.)

 

He should say no, he has to say no, but instead he nods his head. “Sure, Zach.” His voice steady despite his insides freaking out. Zach tries to smile back, but it comes back as forced and Jack puts a hand on his knee, leaning forward until both their knees are pressed against each other. “It's okay.”

 

Zach stares at him as he leans in closer until they both close their eyes and Zach’s lips press against his. For a moment they just stay like that until Zach moves his lips, leans in closer and puts a hand on Jack’s thigh. 

 

It can't go on much longer despite Jack wanting it and knowing Zach does too. So, he slowly pulls away and removes his hand from Zach’s knee. He's still smiling softly and Zach returns it.

 

“Thank you, Jack,” he's quiet, maybe the quietest he's ever been. “We should head over to Nick’s.”

 

Right, the Christmas dinner, Jack had almost forgot about it. He gets up wordlessly, because what is he suppose to say to Zach right now? Sorry I'm trying to be a responsible adult and you got caught in the crossfire? He gets the potatoes out of the oven and grabs a bottle of wine that was on the counter, Zach following not that far behind.

 

The dinner is more awkward than Jack cares to admit. He could barely follow along with the conversation, because he was focused on the kiss, which was a mistake he realizes, and how Zach was forcing himself to laugh at the stupid story Dubi just told. 

 

He's getting ready to leave when Zach, who had a few glasses of wine, suddenly appears in the foyer. He's tipsy, holding on the stairway banister to steady himself, and Jack can't help but to think this is all his fault. “Everything okay?”

 

Zach nods and then shakes his head, “I'm mad at you. I thought you felt the same way about me and...you just expect everything to go back to normal. I want  _ you _ .”

 

This is the worse place for this conversation, where Nick or anyone else who's still here can hear them. Jack looks down the hallway and he hears chatter in the kitchen, so maybe they're in the clear. “I'm sorry, Zach, but I had to. You're...young and I'm not.”

 

Zach stumbles a bit and Jack reaches out to keep him still. “You want me,” he says softly and Jack’s stomach twists. “You want me a lot.” 

 

He takes a deep breath and smiles a bit before squeezing his shoulder. “Good night, Zach. Merry Christmas.”

 

Then leaves and doesn't look behind him.

 

\-----

 

It's awkward at first.

 

Jack will catch Zach looking at him and they’ll stare at each other for a moment before Jack finally looks away. During practice they'll make idle small talk about the play they’re working on; on the plane they sit on opposite sides and don't say a word; when the team goes out they’ll smile at each other across the room or table. It's professional for the most part. 

 

Zach doesn't talk about Christmas or the kiss or anything else that could bring up the feelings they are both trying to suppress. 

 

Really, it's better this way. 

 

Even if it hurts Jack more than he cares to admit.

 

\-----

 

The Golden Knights logo finally stops looking so weird on his chest after his fourth season with the team, after he signs a two year extension with them and after he gets named the second captain of the team. He’s one of the few original members of the team left, because Vegas is still going through some growing pains and trying to figure out their identity. It reminds him a little of the Jackets, so in a way it's comforting.

 

He sees the guys, the Jackets, twice a year and Jack usually takes them out to a show and then dinner that's not on the Strip. It's weird the first time, because he still felt like one of the guys, but he wasn't. He didn't know the new jokes or the rookies nicknames or what new catchphrase Torts had come up with.

 

Now it's normal to see them only a few times and to face off against them. It's normal to not know the jokes or the nicknames, the guys fill him in rather quickly each time.

 

He still can't score a goal against Bob to save his life, but it's normal. 

 

After a game he goes out with Nick, just the two of them, and listens as Nick talks happily about all the new guys, wide-eyed teenagers and early twenty year olds, and how he has  _ two  _ new alternate captains this year.

 

Jack noticed that Zach had one of the ‘A’s. It shouldn't surprise him, but he still thinks of Zach as the nineteen year old with the crush on him. Now he's almost in his mid-twenties and one of the best players in league. 

 

He never realized how difficult it was to play against the Zach and Jonesy pairing until he got to Vegas. 

 

“We miss you in Columbus,” Nick says with a smile and even though he's being sincere Jack knows they don't  _ really  _ miss him. Their blue-line is one of the best in the league, on any pairing. They don't miss him.

 

Still, Jack doesn't want to be a killjoy. “Maybe one day I'll retire there,” he says with a laugh.

 

He leaves early, calling an Uber from outside the restaurant, sitting outside on a bench while he scrolls through the team’s group chat. Of course Uber is slammed on a Saturday night in Vegas, so he has to wait a little longer than usual.

 

“It's still weird,” a voice says and he quickly realizes it belong to Zach. “You being here.”

 

It's been years, he'd of thought Zach would've been one of the first to not care, even though that's never been the case with Zach. They don't talk about either of their crushes on each other, ones that have more than likely disappeared, or that Christmas night. Even if Jack thinks about it occasionally. “You look good with an ‘A’ on your jersey. When did they give it to you?”

 

Zach smiles and pockets his phone, leaning against the back of the bench. “Last year. Pretty cool feeling. I can't imagine what it's like to be a captain.”

 

_ You'll be captain once Nick retires,  _ Jack thinks, but he doesn't want to scare him so he doesn't say it. Part of him figures that Zach knows he's next too. “Scary.” He smiles and Zach laughs. “Good scary, but...a lot of pressure.”

 

“You seem to be handling it well,” he says.

 

Jack nods slowly, “I like to think so. It helps being in a smaller market, even if at first all eyes were watching, and the fact that we’re not a great team.”

 

Zach puts a hand on Jack’s knee and smiles softly. “You're a great leader, even when you weren't wearing a letter here. I wouldn't…” he looks down at the concrete and then back up at him, “I wouldn't have wanted anyone else helping me back in Columbus. Savvy is great and so is Seth, but…” He trails off and sits straight up, squeezing his (good) knee slightly.

 

It suddenly feels hotter and Jack can barely look at Zach. He misses Zach and them playing Xbox and watching war mini-series, but he doesn't say it out loud. Instead he puts a hand on Zach's shoulder and smiles brightly. “You're a leader on that blueline now. One of those kids are gonna look up to you like you did with me.”

 

Zach laughs, “Well, hopefully not  _ exactly  _ like me.”

 

“No, hopefully not,” Jack says quietly and Zach looks at him for a moment in which he was sure Zach was going to kiss him. 

 

He doesn't. 

 

Instead Jack’s Uber comes and he says his goodbyes and wishes Zach luck with the rest of the season. 

 

“Hey, Jack,” he shouts right before Jack gets into the car. “I...I’ll see you later.”

 

It's not what Zach wants to say, Jack figures based on his pause and hesitation. He can only imagine what he actually was going to say.

 

\-----

 

Playing in Columbus as the visiting team never gets easier. He finds himself just as comfortable in Nationwide as he does in TMA. Despite playing for a different team, he still doesn't jump when the cannon sounds.

 

They manage to squeak by a win after a turnover by Zach, the irony is not lost on Jack.

 

He goes out to dinner with Nick, Bob, Seth, Pierre-Luc, Zach, and Boone. It feels just like old times, even with the newest addition of P.L., who stays quiet for most of the night unless he has a story to tell or someone asks him a question.

 

Jack talks about Vegas and how the young guys always try their fake IDs, how much he enjoys it there for the most part. “I have a newfound respect for you Nick and what you've done as captain here. I got to learn from the best.”

 

Nick grins, “Always thought you should've been given an ‘A’ when I was named captain.”

 

“He was great in the locker room even without the letter, especially with helping us younger guys on defense,” says Zach, looking up from his drink with a smile that Jack can't quite place, mostly to P.L, “He was great my first year here.”

 

Jack smiles and brings his drink to his lip, “Looks like you're doing much better without me.”

 

\-----

 

Jack always imagined he'd end his career after lots of seasons when he would be in his late thirties. He'd bow out gracefully and maybe coach a peewee hockey team. 

 

His career ends in the second period of game three in his first playoff series with Vegas when he shatters his knee. He gets helped off the ice on basically one leg.

 

The surgeon says there could be a chance he could play again, but there would be a chance his knee could give out or get hurt even worse. So, his career is done. 

 

Vegas loses in the first round to the Ducks in six games.

 

\-----

 

In early October he finds himself in Columbus, mostly so he can watch the home opener, but also because he gets a job as an assistant coach to the Blue Jackets AAA U18 team. 

 

They lose their first game with Jack behind the bench. One of the kids took a terrible late game penalty and as of right now their penalty kill is shit, so it wasn't really surprising. 

 

They have practice the next day and it's over fairly quickly, because they did play well besides that stupid penalty yesterday afternoon. 

 

“I'll clean up in a bit, I want to take a few shots,” he tells the other coaches, who just shrug and leave him alone on the ice.

 

Skating in the IceHaus and not being a part of the Jackets is strange. He spent so many practices here listening to a variety of coaches give him orders and now he's a coach, even if it is just for a triple A team. He knows he can't skate for very long or else his knee will start to aggravate him, but he enjoys the minutes where he can pretend to still be an NHL player. 

 

“Fancy meeting you here,” a familiar voice says from behind the bench.

 

When he turns around there's Zach in a Blue Jackets track suit and his own stick. Jack can't help the smile that spreads across his face. “Hey, stranger.”

 

Zach joins the ice with him and takes a few shorts from the point while Jack watches, noting that his shot seems so much stronger now. He never really had time to notice it during games. “Pretending you're still an NHL player?”

 

Jack rolls his eyes and checks him fairly gently. “Fuck off.”

 

“I'm  _ kidding _ . I'm sorry about your knee,” he says more seriously, leaning against his stick while Jack takes shots now. “I was watching that game and I just knew something wasn't right when you went down. You should've had a happy retirement.”

 

He shrugs, “It's fine. I'm happy I at least still have a job  _ in  _ hockey and in Columbus. I'd rather be here than anywhere else.”

 

Zach pokes the puck away from Jack, stealing it and races down the ice as if on a breakaway. “I bet the Jackets would give you a job.”

 

They've offered a scouting position that Jack is still mulling over, but he isn't sure if he wants to just watch hockey as a living. At least as a coach he can still be on the ice. “If my knee wasn't fucked up I’d take  _ yours _ ,” he laughs.

 

Zach scoffs and makes his way back towards Jack. “Oh, like you can keep up,  _ old man _ .”

 

“Speak for yourself. You're getting close to thirty now...getting close to my age when you first got here.” Saying that out loud does make Jack feel old, as if six years is such a long time. Then again, just knowing Zach is close to thirty makes him feel old. 

 

They're both quiet for a minute before Zach grins. “Speaking of when I first got here, can I ask you a question?”

 

Jack nods his head, trying to think of what could possibly be related to something six years ago. To be honest, he doesn't really remember tiny details for six years ago, so it could be virtually anything. 

 

“Do you want to go out on date with me?”

 

Jack doesn't say anything for a few seconds, he's trying to wrap his brain around the fact that Zach still wants him even after all these years and being thousands of miles apart. He figured Zach would've found someone, would've fallen in love with someone.He never really thought he'd find anybody, not to marry or date long term, but Zach was - still is - young and full of potential.

 

“You...it's okay if you don't. I just thought  _ maybe  _ you still liked me and I'm older now-”

 

He laughs and skates over to Zach, shoving him slightly before getting up close. The rink is so quiet he could hear a pin drop, except for Zach's breathing. “Yes, I would like to go out on a date with you.” 

 

Zach grins and kisses him, drops his stick to put his hands on Jack’s waist. 

 

Jack can't help but to think how much better it is than kissing nineteen year old Zach. And when he pulls away it's a much better feeling in his stomach than the last time he kissed Zach. 

 

“You told me maybe when I was older and then you went to Vegas and I...well, I'm older,” he smiles and Jack laughs again. “Every time we played against each other I wanted to ask you or tell you, but I figured you had moved on.”

 

Jack kisses him again, lets his stick fall to the ground, and puts an arm around his neck. “Well, it's a good thing I came back then.”

 

“Yeah,” Zach mumbles against his lips, “really good.”


End file.
